by Irene Sosso and Maya Viselli (2C)
After King Charles’s heartfelt message on the day of the first anniversary of the death of his beloved mum Queen Elizabeth II, the Queen, who has always been reluctant to give inteviews, has contacted a journalist of the “Daily Mirror” to offer an interview to spread some curiosities about her family and her ‘special’ life.
Queen Elizabeth – Hello! Am I talking to the Daily Mirror?
Interview– Hello! Yes, here we are, who’s talking?
Q.E. – What? You don’t recognize me? After 73 years of speeches there’s still someone who cannot distinguish my voice! Well, maybe you weren’t born yet when I started ‘working’, just like 80% of English people.
I. – I don’t understand ma’am.
Q.E. – Ok, I’ll try to be more direct. I am Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and I’m calling from the afterworld, of course. I can imagine you might be surprised but I had special permission after reading the statements made by my son Charles. “[…]love and support for his wife!”, well, it just doesn’t exsist! Sorry,I wanted to say that Camilla has never enjoyed my sympathy. Charles has never been good at choosing a wife! Anyway…that’s just one pebble I wanted to remove from my shoe!
I. – Your Majesty…I am amazed and deeply honored that You chose our tabloid. I’m falling from the clouds, if I may say.
Q.E. – Well, Madame, I chose your newspaper because it seemed to me to be the most gossipy, no offence!
I.– Let’s let the details flow, Your Majesty, rather let’s take advantage of this opportunity and allow me to ask you a few questions to satisfy the readers’ curiosity. It’s doesn’t happen every day that you get to interview someone from the afterlife and not all the inhabitants of the afterlife are able to communicate with us from there ,don’t you think?
Q.E – Sure!
I.- Let’s start with Charles, do you think he will be a good King? However he has some qualities, as you told: he is cultured and intelligent…
Q.E. – Well, to be honest, I don’t think anyone is able to match my Royal Highness and then the Monarchy doesn’t decide anything anymore and all in all it’s not a bad thing. The important thing is that Charles knows how to manage the family business.
I.– What do you miss most of your life and your family?Q.E. – Well….. definitely my dogs! You know, I had over 30 Corgis in my life and none knows I was also a great dog trainer.
I. – Why corgis breed dogs and not something more Scottish, If I may ask?
Q.E. – Well, as you know, my hubbie* Philip was already Scottish and these dogs, of Welsh origin, were more suitable and then they have a flexible character, completely appropriate for my role, don’t you think?
I .– Yes! And what about your elephant,your jaguar, your two giant turtles and sloths?
Q.E – Oh, they were birthday gifts from other countries and now they live in the London zoo.
I.- Your birthday…by the way….. when is it? There’s always been some confusion about this.
Q.E.– Indeed, I was born on 21 April but, as you know, the weather in Great Britain is rainy and cloudy most of the year and I want my birthday to be bright and sunny, that’s why my official birthday is celebrated on a Saturday in June when the weather is better.
I. – Oh, I see!
Is it true that you drove you car with a driving license? And that during WorldWar you volunteered as a truck driver and a mechanic?
Q.E. – Of course yes! As a Queen I didn’t need to have a driving license to drive on public roads and….yes….I was the first woman in the Royal family to serve the military.
I. – You are amazing!
Q.E. – And you might be even more surprised to know that I loved football and I was also a supporter of Arsenal football club.
I. – And you also loved horse riding and pigeon racing, did you?
Q.E. – Oh yes! These were my favourite hobbies.
I. – Let’s talk about your grandchildren, what do you think about William and Harry? There were moments of tension in the last days of your reign. Have you read Harry’s book?
Q.E. – I read Harry’s book and I laughed a lot, sorry I enjoyed it a lot. He had a lot of imagination and above all the way he spoke about Camilla. However, I have never understood why Harry is so angry with our family. He has done all kind of things and then……getting married to that low class American slob……completely inappropriate! On the other hand, William has always been a good guy! And as the heir to the throne he was always sitting on a prominent seat next to me. And Harry didn’t like that!
I. – And………what about Prince Philip?
Q.E. – We were a great couple! Don’t make me say anything else, also because he is around here and if he hears me saying something he doesn’t like, heaven forbid! You know the etiquette here is not up to the standards, we are all the same for the ‘owner of the house’ and everyone takes advantage!
I.– Do you think you were a good mother? Charles makes no mention of his personal relationship with you as a mother, more than anything else it seems you have been a mother for the country.
Q.E – I don’t know what are you talking about. In royal families there’s not all that fuss between parents and children that common people are used to: that is completely inappropriate. The Brits say I tried to be a guide, a point of reference, I just wanted British people to feel close to me in difficult times.
I – Of course I understand. On some occasions, however, they criticized you, don’t you remember?
Q.E. – Well, just like children do with their parents, for the rest no comment. Now I must go, there’s a residence meeting. Apparently someone has protested beacause we keep the music too loud…In the evening with Philip we go wild dancing, here there are a lot of rockers who play live music and come to our house because we have the biggest cloud!